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Sunday, August 21, 2011

Journey of a Suicidal Person

I love Raayo. He taught me how to love and made me believe that as long as you had love, you could last together forever. I spent eleven months with him and I will never get over him. He has stolen my heart and shattered it into numerous pieces. It's because of him, I cry myself to sleep every night. It's because of him, I cut myself. It's because of him, I take pills which I shouldn't. It's because of him, suicide is the only option left for me. The pain of missing him is suffocating me and I can take it no more. I love him more than anything and I would die for him. I only wish he could love me again. I miss his radiating smiles and his beautiful voice. I want to see him happy. But to see him happy with her, it makes me want to die. I know it's so selfish of me to want him to be with me alone but I can't help it. I'm crazy about Raayo and I can't live without him.


Come save me from my ocean of tears
I can find no meaning to my life without you
Take me away in that sweet blissful pain
Today I bid my life goodbye.
I'm lying on my bed realizing that I have no desires anymore and desire is the fuel of life. Once its gone, life has no purpose. I have to write two letters. One for my parents and the other for Raayo. I stand in front of the mirror and see my reflection. I can see that I've come a long way from being the little child who just  wanted a 'Prince Charming' in her life. I hate the girl in the mirror and I hate what I've become. I take  the scissors lying on the table and start cutting the brown strands of my hair. And now looking into the mirror, I can see my true self. Oh how beautiful I look. If only Raayo could see me now, he would know the extent I can go for him.

I take the sharpest knife in the kitchen. It is shining magnificently. Oh how I wish my life would have shined in such a manner. Surely it can't hurt me more than the pain of losing him. I take one last look at my reflection as I cut my wrist. I watch in ecstasy as blood flows down my arm. I was a fool to have waited for so long. Ah this bliss is so overwhelming. I use my fingers to write a message. And finally I keep cutting my wrist till I feel drowsy and fall to the ground with one last look towards the message 'I WISH WE COULD HAVE BEEN TOGETHER RAAYO. U CAN SEE MY APOLOGY ON MY WRIST.'


Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
- Phil Donahue

5 comments:

Kunal said...

loved the writing .. here is my take on suicides - http://jus2cents.wordpress.com/2010/07/11/suicides-more/

Kunal said...

ohh a.d teh best line was 'U CAN SEE MY APOLOGIES ON MY WRIST' ..

Rafaa Dalvi aka Mr.Charismatic said...

:D

Sanhita Baruah said...

nice :)

Rafaa Dalvi said...

:)

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