The Ideal Modern Familia

Son: Dad, I need some money.

Dad: Why?

Son: I did not get a merit seat in any professional course. I need money to acquire a seat through donation. If only you had got a fake SC/ST certificate, I wouldn't have to go through all this.

Dad: Its your mother's fault, not mine. I am broke paying allowances to her numerous bastard children all around the globe.

Son: She told me that she cannot do without screwing around here and there. So don't blame Mom. Its just her nature.

Dad: Well whatever. I can't help you.

Son: You can always sell your organs, can't you.

Dad: Sorry Son. I am saving my kidney for your marriage.

Son: Well Dad what about my kidney?

Dad: Oh I sold that years ago. Why exactly I cannot remember as of now.

Son: This sucks. What the hell am I going to do now?

Dad: Why don't you become a member of Mafia. It’s just like playing Mafia Wars except in real life.

Son: Why would anyone let me be a member of Mafia. I am like you. A lazy fat loser. I am your son after all.

Dad: Well knowing your mother, I am not too sure of that.

Son: Enough Dad. At least Mom is doing what she likes. You, on the other hand, just complain all the time. Get A life.

Dad: Oh its true. I'm not living but just existing.

Son: Stop being a crybaby for once. Let me check my options. I don't have money to get admission anywhere. I have various siblings, courtesy Mom, and I have a Dad whose biggest achievement is staying married with his promiscuous wife. I think Dad you hit the bullseye. Joining Mafia is a great idea. But its like selling my soul to the devil. I will enjoy a lavish life but it comes with a price. I may face death soon and will have to be vigilant always. People will be after my neck always.

Dad: Death is inevitable. The best thing about dying as a Mafioso is that people will always remember you as the badass guy who did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted and who never succumbed to anybody. They will respect you and make you out to be some kind of hero. For the rest of us, nobody would spend even a single tear drop. Better die loved and respected than cold and forgotten.

Son: I love you Dad. You are really the best.

Dad: Yes I know.