25 awkward moments for every comic book/ movie fan

1. Quick Silver married his sister, Scarlet Witch, and they had a kid together (Godzilla)

2. Lex Luthor robbed Alfred and framed Lucius Fox (Now You See Me)

3. Joker and Robin went to High School together (10 Things I Hate About You)

4. Black Widow dumped Robin (Don Jon)

5. Nick Fury and Star Lord worked at Jurassic Park

6. Robin was close friends with Green Hornet (50/50)

7. Gambit and Hulk are brothers who wrestle (Foxcatcher)

8. Captain America, Punisher and Superman tried to kill Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

9. Ironman and Batman solved a noir case (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)

10. Mystique and Batman were married. They, along with Rocket Raccoon and Lois Lane, tried to take down Hawkeye (American Hustle)

11. Batman, along with the Hulk and Gwen Stacy, tried to put on a Broadway show (Birdman)

12. Bullseye and Hawkeye fought each other while Nick Fury was their leader (SWAT)

13. Joker, along with Penguin, Doc Brown, and Chucky, hung out in a crazy hospital (One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest)

14. Nick Fury along with Hartigan tried to stop Alfred from stealing gold (Die Hard with a Vengeance)

15. Wolverine banged Dejah Thoris and still John Carter helped him to defeat Green Lantern (X-Men Origins: Wolverine)

16. Bullseye was in love with Joker as well as Gail (Sin City) and Odin narrated the love saga (Alexander)

17. Whiplash killed Frodo (Sin City)

18. Jane Foster and Black Widow were sisters (The Other Boleyn Girl)

19. Antman had an affair with Nova Prime (Fatal Attraction)

20. Lex Luther and Gwen Stacy killed zombies (Zombieland)

21. Obi Wan Kanobi banged Black Widow (The Island)

22. Green Hornet and Harry Osborne tried to kill Kim Jung Un (The Interview)

23. The Riddler fell in love with Obi Wan Kanobi (I Love you Phillip Morris)

24. Batman and Hawkeye kidnapped Maya Hansen while robbing banks and Carol Ferris wouldn't leave Batman alone (The Town)

25. Deadshot went back in time to save Thanos from being killed by an alien. Thanos grew older and became Two-Face (Men in Black 3)

The Greatest Movie EVER Made

After the recent success of superhero movies like Then Avengers, Iron Man Trilogy and The Dark Knight Trilogy and the immense interest in Man of Steel, the Hollywood studio heads had a secret meeting. All the studio heads wanted to make a multi-billion dollar grossing 3D movie which would even be critically acclaimed. They decided to make a worldwide movie with actors, directors and musicians from all over the world and wanted the accomplished writers of Hollywood to pen down the script.

And to hype the movie, a worldwide contest was held where the winner would be involved in the entire movie making process from start to end. And guess what, yours truly won this contest.

And so I have been attending every meeting along with the studio heads. The final writers selected for this dream project were Roman Polański, Christopher Nolan, Quentin Tarantino and David S. Goyer.

The story was finalized and it took the writers only a fortnight to get the first draft of the script ready. It was going to be a sci-fi, western, romantic movie with elements of supernatural and time-travel. After the disastrous response to Cloud Atlas, the writers left no stone unturned to make this an epic script.

Now the studio heads and the writers decided to contact the directors who could do justice to this epic script and start casting accordingly.

So it’s been almost two months and the entire cast has been finalized except for the part of the actor in the leading role. The final list was as follows:

WeChat With Anyone, Anywhere!

Indiblogger has given me an opportunity to speak with five different people, dead, alive or fictional, using WeChat and I’ll use this opportunity to call those five people, whom my autistic younger brother always wanted to speak with, in order  to convince them  to come to my younger brother’s 14^th birthday.

Everybody has a hidden desire to connect with their role models, who have inspired them to do something big in life and lead a healthy and happy life. My brother’s choice of role models may sound a bit childish. But they have inspired him and taught him to never quit and fight for his rights, to make others happy, to be obedient and many other things. The five people I would talk to on my WeChat group are as follows:-

Catharsis

Silence.

Pitch black darkness.

Except for a circle of blinding light in the middle of the room. And at the center of illumination a man, chained to a platform, with electrodes all over his body.

He is naked. Stripped off all clothes.

He has 'The Fringe' haircut.

The silence is shattered by the steps of heavy boots as a figure steps into the light from out of the shadows. Dressed in a black cloak, he leans forward and smiles at the prisoner.

“Good evening. You can call me The Shadow. And you are looking at your downfall.”

The prisoner looks up and can see anger and hate in the eyes of his captor.

Holding up a newspaper The Shadow reads:

If you are sick and tired of watching Justin Bieber all over the place, then beware you are suffering from Bieber Fever.
So get set to learn music form the Justin Bieber School of Music, wear your love for him by buying dresses from his clothing line, get a recording deal under his music label, spend quality time with your close ones at his chain of restaurants and pit your talent against others in his reality shows.

“Justin Bieber as a brand is a 'cute and talented' person and wants to work hard and continue to do so,” Bieber said.

His fashion label, designed along the lines of his songs, kicks off with T-shirts that will hit the local stores soon.
Bieber will also starting his own line of salons whose branches will be opened in all the major countries.

The Shadow stares straight into the eyes of his captive.

“So Bieber, why don’t you start by telling me about this Bieber Fever— this huge conspiracy to corrupt the youth of the world? You think I don't know that when a man or a woman buys a Bieber T shirt, they actually sell away their souls to you? You think I am unaware that you are trying to start a new cult? That these so-called Schools of Music are nothing but devious churches whose only job is to preach that there is only one true saviour- the 'cute and talented' Justin Bieber? What were you going to call your followers? Your Biebs?

The Hard Goodbye... Really?

[This is the epilogue of the story from Sin City 'The Hard Goodbye'. In my opinion, Marv is the utlimate badass I've ever seen. I couldn't deal with the fact that he died in the end. So lets see if death actually made a difference or did things just became better.]

SILENCE

The first thing Marv felt upon reaching consciousness were blasts of warm air against his face. Very warm.

The heat began to rise, and for the first time in what felt like centuries his eyes opened.

"What the fuck!" Marv saw miles and endless miles of flames, burning piles of human bodies, and demons.

"You're in Hell, Marv!" said a bellowing voice, emanating from a place he could not see.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I am Lucifer - Lord of the Dark Realm, Prince of Evil, Master of this Eternal Prison. I am your ruler now - your SOUL BELONGS TO ME! You were killed today, Marv, and now you will suffer here for all of time."

THE REUNION

11 Years Later...

"Did you put the kids to bed? Oh oh ok, you are out with your saheliyaan. I am sorry I will do it when I get home” Arbaaz whispered to his wife on the cell phone.

But not hushed enough because we all heard it.

Atul yelled ”Dude, kya yaar. Are you a man or a mouse? Why are you scared of your wife? You are pathetic”.

Atul- The Macho Man. He never tires of saying how much fitter and stronger he has become ever since he came to Las Vegas where he has been pumping iron, gulping protein shakes, and scoring with ladies left and right (that of course is what he claims).

He continued: And that’s why I never want to get married. Why buy the entire bar when you just want a drink? Look at Arbaaz. His wife is pregnant and looking at his paunch it seems he is carrying the baby. Well at least he is here most of the other married men did not even show up. What’s their problem. Do they think we are going to hit on their wives?”

Abdul whispered “I am sure you would try given half a chance. The fact is that wives distance men from their friends. It’s their way of keeping control. Soon it’s only the wife’s friends and relatives who you call your own.”

Abdul- The philosopher, inveterate smoker and needless to say a bachelor for life. He was stretched out on the carpet, looking at the ceiling and puffing wisps of frustration into the air.

Dumb Girls

Michelle and Samantha were two nineteen year old girls on an adventure to Europe, first stop, Paris.

They landed in the main international airport and were shocked at how clean the airport was. As soon as they stepped into arrivals, they were bombarded with locals providing taxi services, trips around the country, the list was endless. But it was the trips that caught their attention. They wanted to see as much as possible inside the three weeks they had.

Michelle headed for a guy holding up a “trips see everything!” sign. He looked dark, sultry and confident, just Michelle's type.

‘Are you looking for adventure ladies? Cheap trips for beautiful ladies,’ he said and stared at 'em admiringly.

‘Let me handle this,’ Samantha whispered to Michelle.

‘Hi dude,’ Samantha returned. Her smile wavered as his piercing black eyes looked at 'em up and down, like a human x-ray.

‘Welcome to Paris.’  Samantha looked at him and he continued to speak enthusiastically ‘What do you think ladies, do you want to have the time of your lives?'. He gave 'em a wink.

Samantha looked over at Michelle who had a dreamy dazed look in her eyes. Samantha had a good feeling about this guy and wanted to go right at him then and there.

He looked extremely comfortable and had this amazing smile plastered to his face, the two didn’t seem to match.

‘Let me escort you to your hotel ladies,’ he offered. He picked up the luggage and started walking towards the car park. Samantha walked close behind him to get a look at his caboose. She was relieved at what she saw.

The Ideal Modern Familia

Son: Dad, I need some money.

Dad: Why?

Son: I did not get a merit seat in any professional course. I need money to acquire a seat through donation. If only you had got a fake SC/ST certificate, I wouldn't have to go through all this.

Dad: Its your mother's fault, not mine. I am broke paying allowances to her numerous bastard children all around the globe.

Son: She told me that she cannot do without screwing around here and there. So don't blame Mom. Its just her nature.

Dad: Well whatever. I can't help you.

Son: You can always sell your organs, can't you.

Dad: Sorry Son. I am saving my kidney for your marriage.

Son: Well Dad what about my kidney?

Dad: Oh I sold that years ago. Why exactly I cannot remember as of now.

Son: This sucks. What the hell am I going to do now?

Dad: Why don't you become a member of Mafia. It’s just like playing Mafia Wars except in real life.