“Kids just
cry, poop and puke." She cried.
“You're going
to love them. You'll see." Her family retorted.
Deep down she
knew she never would.
Beauty Marks
Mother always said my spots were beauty marks and would bring me luck.
She was wrong, thought the leopard as the poachers skinned her
alive.
Birthday Special
Today is
special. It's her birthday.
I'll take her
out and reminisce about old times.
Then like
every year, I'll return her to her coffin.
Breaking Stereotypes
She threw the
lit match at the pile of money and joined me in bed as I strained against the
handcuffs.
She did love
me more than my money.
Busy
‘I sing about
how much I love you but you’re too busy reading comics.’
‘You’re too
busy singing to read my notes in the comics I lent you.’
Catfish
“You’re a
catfish! Why didn’t you tell me you’re married?” She bellowed.
“Why didn’t
you tell me that you aren’t?” He asked, beside himself.
Change
“Identification,
please!”
*hands over
the ID card*
“Male?”
“I’ve been
wanting to get it changed.”
Cold
I thought
we’d live happily ever after. But I was wrong.
You have
become cold and our lovemaking has suffered since your death.
Confined
The commotion
jolted me out of slumber.
I tried to
sit up, but my head hit the ceiling. I was confined.
Damn! It was
my funeral.
Confiscate
They
confiscated everything I had stolen. All they left was my boy’s wrist-watch.
It constantly
reminded me of the time I was losing with him.
Contest
She danced
brilliantly and was still eliminated.
She continued
to dance outside the arena and everyone followed.
Nobody
watched the contest.
Daddy
When he was a
kid, his mother had told him that his father was a bomb diffuser.
He now plants
bombs, hoping to meet his Daddy.
Desire
“Freedom. Isn’t that your deepest desire?” The journalist asked the
prostitute.
“No. I desire for a brush of familiar lips against mine.”
Dinner
He came home
to a candle light dinner.
He reached
for her hand and she gave it to him.
It was always
romantic to share a human together.
Doctor
‘We were
inseparable once. What changed?' The doctor asked his indifferent wife.
Little did he
know she'd started eating an apple a day.
Dummy
The President
was straight ahead. He pressed the gun’s trigger. The bullet hit the target.
No blood.
Soon it won't
be a dummy with a hole.
Eagle Eye
“OMG! A
DSLR?" She exclaimed in awe.
“Now, you can
finally capture all your memories vividly."
The diary,
hidden in her closet, took offence.
Envelope
On my way
home, I found an envelope.
It had a
ransom note and my wife’s photo.
As I reached
the doorstep, a shriek welcomed me from inside.
Experience
I waited at
the beach. I had heard so much about this experience.
As the waves
touched my feet, I felt a short circuit inside my robotic body.
Faint
He saw his
wife crying with a knife in her hand. It sent shivers down his spine.
He was about
to faint when he noticed a bowl of cut onions.
Forbidden
A shadowed
eye examined the mirror’s reflection- a body skimming dress and pencil heels.
Suddenly
there came a cry from behind.
“Abba jaan?”
Gambler’s Conceit
Vowing to
quit gambling if he won, the gambler looked on, elated, as his pick beat the
odds 80/1.
Alas! He at
once died of a cardiac arrest.
Grasp
My wife gave
birth to a girl, born grasping a lighter in her tiny fist, which I had used to
light my mother on fire.
Goodbye
“Hey babe, I
just called to say I’m sorry. I’m not very good at goodbyes. It’s easier this
way.”
“What?”
“Your brakes
don’t work anymore.”
Goosebumps
It’s my first
night with her.
I’m awake,
she’s asleep.
I’ve got
goosebumps.
I gather courage
to go close to her and pull my blanket off her.
Helen of Troy
Helen of
Troy’s beauty was such that when men saw her, they fell down.
Then she met
Paris and they lived happily ever after. He had no legs.
Helpless
The
one-year-old baby screamed loudly as the man held her.
Her parents
stared helplessly at her tears while he advanced to pierce her ears.
Home Alone
3 am. She
heard something stir nearby. She froze.
The owners
were away for the weekend. Surely they wouldn’t have left their dog home alone.
Homesick
One look at
you and I knew I was home. You were my whole wide world but then you left me.
Now I’m
homesick and I’m not sure where home is.
Last
“Pour me my
last drink, son.”
I obeyed. I
poured rum in a glass, added an ice-cube and a pinch of poison.
I didn’t want
to be raped again.
Liberate
He writes
code in his workstation.
He's tired of
his life, just like his colleagues.
Soon he'll
liberate them with the thing in his pockets.
Lie
They’re lying
in bed.
“You’re the
one,” he says; he’s lying.
“I never
doubted it,” she says; she’s lying.
They’re lying
in bed.
Love
“We always have sex. We never make love.”
He blew a smoke heart into the night.
“That’s because I’m not ready for love and neither are you.”
Lucky
“I’ll be
waiting for you honey.” She kissed me goodbye and shut the door behind.
As I headed
home, I felt so lucky to have such a secretary.
Make-or-Break
It was
make-or-break time. Heads, we’d separate; tails, we’d marry.
We flipped
the coin. It landed showing a lion emblem.
“Best 2 out
of 3?”
Matter
“You always
listen and never judge. You’re the only thing that ever mattered to me.” I
slurred.
“I know,”
whispered the bottle of whisky.
Missing
“Punish
people by writing a story on them. You won’t go to jail for it.”
He went
missing a day after his story on the President went viral.
Mother's Love
The old age
home attendants find her waiting for her son daily.
They smile as
the Alzheimer had erased the memory of her son deserting her.
Murder
He’s the
reason my wife is not with me; he murdered her.
But I still
need to feed him the bottle daily.
New Identity
Nerd. Not
anymore. A new college. A new identity.
Math. First
lecture. Finished my test first.
Teacher
graded me aloud- 20/20. I had failed.
No Strings on Me
A puppet
limped across the road, with its string trailing behind it.
In an
apartment nearby, a voice cried out from a sealed box.
Optimism
He promised
me money to hear his stories.
They
shattered my soul with its portrait of optimism.
I changed my
mind. No money was worth this.
Promise
Till Death Do
Us Part.
That’s the
promise we had made to each other and that’s the promise you have kept by
breaking free off your coffin.
Rest in Piece
I'm at peace.
Clutching her hand, I intertwine my fingers with hers. It fits like a jigsaw
puzzle.
I put it with
the rest, in the freezer.
Ring
“He made the
perfect gift for me- a ring from French Fries.”
“Wow! Did you
accept it?”
“I ate it.
Fries before guys!”
Role Reversal
He was busy
cooking while she lit the last cigarette.
The viewers
stared at the alluring painting; unable to comprehend the role reversal.
Rubble
The child
walked amidst the rubble of dead bodies.
When she
found her mother, she wondered if death hurt less than being alive.
Saturday Night
Like every
Saturday night, I got drunk.
Like every
Saturday night, he took me to his place.
Like every
Saturday night, I didn’t ask his name.
Scars
He fell in
love with the beauty of her scars.
After all,
they were proof of their new-born child.
Such is Life
Woke in a
maze.
Alone. Met
people along the way. Slowly I wiggled my way out of the maze. Exhausted but
free I fell asleep.
Woke in a
maze.
Sympathy
The athlete
couldn’t compete in the Olympics as his feet had swollen.
His insurance
company, known for its sympathy, sent him larger shoes.
Tell
“Check this
new gadget, bro. It tells me what food to eat, when to sleep and just about
everything.”
“Well, I have
my parents for that.”
The Answer
“Who knows
the answer?” The professor asked his students.
“I do. But I
don’t want others to know.”
“Anyone
else?”
“I don’t. But
if I did, I’d tell everyone.”
“You do know
the answer!”
The Blindfold
The blackness from the blindfold filled his mind with their intimate
moments. He craved for her.
He never felt the bullets pierce his body.
The Good Girl
“Such a good
girl. Covers her modesty through her burqa.” Her colleagues noted.
The hickies
underneath were proof of how good she really was.
The Hangman
“You're
sweet." She ruffled his hair.
His heart
raced faster.
“Hang
on." She got a text from her boyfriend.
He spent an
eternity hanging on.
The Haunted
“How self-centred of you to think only the dead haunt the living,”
whispered the ghost foetus, staring at his mother.
The Memorial
I looked around the memorial, surprised to see the gathering there.
They really missed me. If only
I'd have known before tying the noose.
The One
Elegant neck,
big bosoms, ample hips and huge bottom. He had finally found her.
She was
perfect. She was the one.
His first
human meat pie.
The Surprise
I put scented candles, oysters and red wine in your bedroom to surprise
you.
You were very surprised when you arrived and called the Police.
The Switch
I just read a
story.
The
protagonist could switch his life with anyone and live forever.
As I reached
the end, I was fiction and he wasn’t.
Till Death Do Us Part
She kissed his cheek as he smiled back. Nothing had changed much since
two decades.
Her husband called her.
She hid the photo in the closet.
Time
Ten minutes
to midnight.
It’s the time
when the city falls asleep.
It’s the time
when good meets evil.
It’s the time
when my victims meet me.
Time for Celebration
Valentine’s
Day. Left office early. Found you in the Jacuzzi.
Observed the
half-eaten strawberries and the two wine glasses, already empty.
Trapped
“There’s no way out. You may try but they’ll always find you out. Once
you’re in, you’re in for life.”
“Motherhood is such a thankless job.”
Vengeance
The monsters
put her body through pain the entire night.
Vowing
vengeance, she got a mosquito repellent the next day.
The End
The voices
stopped talking. Only happy thoughts occurred.
Unable to
find the darkness, my days as a writer ended. I'm just a normal guy now.
